Behind the Drama: Metal Gear Solid 2
by Chibichan5
Summary: We go backstage, exploring one of Raiden's most dreaded scenes! No one younger than 13 allowed, because you shouldn't be playing MGS2 at that age anyway.:P Just a good laugh, because I love to poke fun at Ocelot's sick mind. Heheheheh. R + R.
1. Craziness.

***Solidus, Raiden, Olga, Snake, Rose, and Ocelot don't belong to me, however, these outtakes are all mine. Have fun.***  
  
Me: We know cinematic scenes take lots of time and effort. Today, we go behind the scenes of Raiden's most dreaded experience, to enjoy countless bloopers, sure to crack you up. As you know, Raiden was betrayed by Snake and Olga, and he soon found himself somewhere where he wished he'd never been...The linear separations between sentences indicate a new blooper. Enjoy!  
  
  
  
  
  
Ocelot: I checked everything including the genome data. There's nothing on this guy.  
  
Solidus: Becoming a little perverted, are we?  
  
Snake: Becoming? He always was!  
  
Ocelot: Quiet you!  
  
Raiden: Who's idea was it to leave me without my gear?  
  
Ocelot: (raises his arm timidly) Me.  
  
Snake: (walks right up to Raiden, standing beside him) You know what I could go for?  
  
Raiden: What?  
  
Snake: A niiice stretch. All that stiffness in my limbs, I have to get rid of. I can't stand it. (stretches with a smile)  
  
Raiden: (pulls against his restraints) I hate you. -.-  
  
Snake: (Is still beside Jack) You know what I could go for?  
  
Raiden: Please, stop.  
  
Snake: A sweet, ice cold drink brimming to the top of the can. Wouldn't you like to quench your thirst? (holds up an open coke can)  
  
Raiden: (makes a whimpering sound, unable to grab the can because he is attached to the torture rack)  
  
Snake: Suit yourself. I offered, remember that. (drinks the coke in front of Raiden)  
  
Raiden: (twitches) Why do you have to make this so HARD?!  
  
Snake: You never asked me to be good. ^^  
  
Raiden: Grrrrrrrrrr... (sighs angrily, one of those "You-knew-all-along-and- never-told-me" sighs) Be nice, PLEASE!  
  
Snake: Too late. You shoulda asked me before I made up my mind. [grins]  
  
Raiden: You're cold, you know that?!  
  
Snake: Hey, what's that? [looks startled]  
  
Raiden: What's what?  
  
Snake: That? [prods Raiden's chest with an annoying consistency]  
  
Raiden: Huh? [looks down where Snake's finger is poking him, and it suddenly whaps his nose]  
  
Snake: Hehehehehe, where would I be without you?  
  
Raiden: [muttering] Living with Otacon, I bet...-.-  
  
Director: And..Action!  
  
Raiden: [looks weary] You...know me?  
  
[You can hear Rose's voice from the Background]  
  
Rose: Are you done filming yet, Jackie Jack?  
  
Snake: We got company! [grins]  
  
Raiden: [gasps] Don't come in, for the love of god!  
  
Rose: Why?  
  
Raiden: Just DON'T LOOK AT ME!!!  
  
Rose: [the instant she peers at Jack on the torture machine, she passes out into a coma]  
  
Snake: There's nothing wrong with what God gave us, girl...But frankly, I find that very funny. I can't keep a straight face looking at the kid.  
  
Raiden: Hey, blame Ocelot for eagerly agreeing with this "nudity" idea. 


	2. Some more insanity. :)

Day 2  
  
Director: This button on this panel controls the electricity flow entering Raiden's body...This nozzle here...[the director explains how the entire machine works, and they spend a good 20 minutes preparing Raiden, and adjusting the bars that are holding his limbs back)  
  
Director: And...ACTION!  
  
Raiden: [stalls a bit, looking around] Really sorry to bring this up, but could you unhook me off this thing? I have to go to the bathroom.  
  
Solidus: [casts out his tentacle arms at Raiden's throat. One binds around him, the other doesn't seem to be in Solidus' control]  
  
Raiden: Aaaaaaarghaaah!!! Hey..[coughs and splutters, heaving for breath] That's my abdomen!  
  
Solidus: Sorry. [applies his other, wild tentacle arm to Jack's throat] My arm slipped.  
  
Snake: [skeptically] I'm sure it did.  
  
Solidus: [yells] It did, OKAY?!  
  
Ocelot: The fact that you're yelling gives us more reason to believe you're lying.  
  
Snake: Look who's talkin', old man. Except you hide it by calling yerself a torture expert.  
  
I remember Shadow Moses. [twirls the smokes in his mouth]  
  
Ocelot: [mutters] Note to self: They know too much!  
  
Director: Time for lunch! You know what I bought?  
  
Everyone: No.  
  
Director: Hot dogs!  
  
Raiden: Oh god, don't embarrass me further...[is still on the torture rack, for getting him ready takes far too long]  
  
Snake: [sings, in his gruff voice] Oh I wish I were an Oscar Mayer Weiner, that is truly what I'd like to beeeeeeeee...Oh I wish I were an Oscar Mayer Weiner, then everyone would be in love with...[hits the high note completely off-key, shattering windows, his voice breaking] Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!  
  
Snake: [walks right up to Raiden] How do you like your wieners? [nudges him]  
  
Raiden: [raises an eyebrow] Somehow, that doesn't sound right...  
  
Raiden: Um, you know, it's polite to look at someone's face and have eye contact with someone who's speaking—you get my drift? Ocelot...OCELOT!!  
  
Ocelot: [is looking down at Jack, with a rather stupid look. It takes him about one minute to break his attention from what he was staring at] .......Yes, um, funny story. [scampers off] I'm getting the camera.  
  
Solidus: My, how my son has grown...  
  
Ocelot: Yeeeeessss...  
  
Solidus: ...  
  
Ocelot: ... [is still staring at Jack's privates]  
  
Solidus: [clears his throat] What are you doing?  
  
Ocelot: Hmmmm...[looks around, and takes the cassette tape from the camera in the torture room] [he stares closely at the screen]  
  
I expected something more between Olga and the boy. All well, this is very sweet. [shoves it in his pocket and runs off]  
  
  
  
Well, that's all for now! I'm sorry, these aren't very funny either, but anyway, I hope you laughed. ^^ 


	3. Things Raiden and Snake wouldn't ever sa...

Things Snake or Raiden wouldn't say or do...(These are ,what I think, my idea of unlikely things to happen ()  
  
Note: When you see the character's name, it signifies a NEW OUTTAKE. Thanks. ^^)  
  
Snake: Whoa, I have a sudden urge to quit smoking...  
  
Snake: I admit it, I was wrong.  
  
Snake: I'm glad that Emma is dead. Let her corpse rot in hell. If It was up to me, I wouldn't waste my time helping her.  
  
Snake: [holds hands with Otacon]  
  
Snake: I have a girlfriend!!  
  
Snake: [drinks a non-alcoholic beverage]  
  
Snake: [60's voice] Semper Fi, man!  
  
Snake: WHOA, Raiden's a man??  
  
Snake: Kid, you have the kind of eyes people can get lost in...compassionate eyes.  
  
Snake: F***!!  
  
Snake: Heeeeeey, this Skull Suit don't look so bad on me!  
  
Snake: Ugh, I'm just a popsicle with hair... -.-  
  
Raiden: How do I look? Is my hair okay...how about the suit?  
  
Raiden: This suit's too revealing... -.-'  
  
Raiden: Rose, just shut the hell up!  
  
Raiden: [break dances]  
  
Raiden: Snake, quit staring at me and give me my gear.  
  
Raiden: [smokes]  
  
Raiden: Hey, watch the hair!  
  
Snake: I'm not attractive anymore!!  
  
Raiden: No, I am not a model for Calvin Klein. -.-  
  
Snake: Don't you point that thing at me!! (I'm aware Snake ACTUALLY said that, and I assure you he has confirmed it as a quote he "didn't mean".)  
  
Raiden: What are you all looking at??  
  
Raiden: Stop staring so close to the screen when monitoring me...-.-  
  
Snake: We work hard, we play hard! (That's odd..)  
  
Snake: Maybe I'm too masculin...  
  
Snake: I look like Joe Dirt...  
  
Snake: I'm sorry.  
  
Snake: [cries]  
  
Snake: I love you.  
  
Snake: I have the most wonderful life!  
  
More boredom coming soon! 


End file.
